Question Seven and a Half Ripoff
by bobie23120
Summary: "Your name is Crystal Kaya." ...What? "Draw a Duck." Screw you. "You're too sexy for your shirt." ...NOPE. It's "Question "Seven and a Half", but with the rest of the Dex Holders, plus Silver being awkward.


**Whelp. Here I am, writing fan fiction. Premise unapologetically stolen from "Question Seven and a Half" by Starran, just with the rest of the dex holders. Keep in mind that this is not some sort of "approved by Starran" sequel or anything, I am writing this completely of my own accord. By the way, according to bulbapedia, Lack-two and Whi-two's names were changed to Blake and Whitley. An improvement, if you ask me.**

Silver was pissed. Granted, he usually is, but he has a reason to be pissed this time. Out of nowhere, LT Surge had him and a few others stay AFTER SCHOOL just to do some sort of ridiculous test. He was seriously considering just walking out the door, but LT Surge had made it clear that if they fail this test, they fail this class. Silver wasn't sure if that was even allowed, but LT Surge had a bit of a reputation as being a bit of a hothead, and Silver didn't want to poke the bear. The tests were already handed out, face down, and the group of nine was awaiting the order to flip the paper and begin. The group was arranged in a perfect 3 x 3 square, with Silver being placed in the back middle. Unlike the rest of the class, who were passing the time on their phones, Silver was never one for modern touchscreen phones, and instead opted to look around the room.

To his immediate right was Diamond, as apathetically spirited as ever, looking at the flipped over test with anticipation. To Silver's left, there was Moon, the new transfer student. No one knew her very well, but she seemed nice enough. The middle of the square belonged to Blake, the token "popular boy" every school seemed to have. The middle left was occupied by Y, captain of the volleyball team. Silver assumed her name wasn't actually "Y", but he never heard her be called by anything else. The middle right housed Platinum Berlitz, the daughter of the principal. Silver wasn't sure if she got special perks because of that, but she did seem to get near perfect grades, despite being a little ditzy, yet refined. Silver didn't know those two adjectives were even compatible with each other, but Platinum made it work. The front middle has X, the antisocial yet snarky best friend to Y. Like Y, Silver was pretty sure "X" was a nickname, or maybe it's some sort of secret code that only X and Y know. Silver didn't really care. The front left had Sun, the second transfer student. Like Moon, Sun was an enigma, but Silver didn't have much interest in learning more. Lastly, Whitley was seated in the front right. She seemed polite enough, but rumors claimed that she was once in a gang. They also say she has no tolerance for womanizers or rapscallions, and has a tendency to beat up whoever annoys her. Silver didn't really believe it, but he's been surprised before. There was one more desk in the classroom that was supposed to be occupied by Crystal, but she apparently has a cold, and couldn't make it to school today.

LT Surge cleared his throat.

"Alrighty kiddos! This test may seem a little unorthodox, but believe me, it's for your own good. Mark my words, this test will change your life, for better or worse. Except for..." His eyes went to Silver. Now Silver was pissed AND confused. "Remember, one question at a time. You may flip the page and continue onto the next only by my say so. Any questions?"

X raised his hand.

"Yes X?"

"What does a written test have to do with gym class?"

"It will raise your strength in ways you may not expect. Any other questions?"

X raised his hand again.

LT Surge groaned. "Yes X?"

"Did you give a deliberately vague response to distract us from the fact that you don't know what this has to do with gym class?"

"Any other questions?"

X raised his hand.

"That are NOT from X?"

X lowered his hand.

No one spoke up.

LT Surge smirked. "OK then. Flip the papers, and you all may begin!"

Silver rolled his eyes and flipped the test. In small letters, under the name line, it read: _"Your name is now Crystal Kaya"_

"It most certainly is not…" Silver mumbled to himself. He looked up, and saw equally confused looks across all participants. Silver read on.

 _Say your name out loud."_

Silver was even more confused, but complacent. His name was Crystal Kaya? Fine.

"Cry-"

"Diamond Shines." Said Diamond.

Then it got dangerous.

"YEEEEOUCH!" Diamond let out a loud yelp, as he jumped from his chair. The entire classroom watched with wide eyes as Diamond fell to the ground, his chair smoking. Silver turned to LT Surge, who was grinning from ear to ear, finger on his keyboard's spacebar.

"Follow the instructions…"

Now Silver was pissed, confused, and scared. If failing a student due to one test wasn't allowed, this HAS to be illegal. Right? RIGHT?! Everyone else was quivering in their seats, until a confidant voice spoke up.

"Whitley Plasma." Blake leaned back in his chair, almost accepting of the shock, but it didn't come. Then it clicked in everyone's head.

"Platinum Berlitz!" Yelled Y.

"Crystal Kaya." Mumbled Silver, just wanting to get this damn test over with.

"Yvonne Gābena.." X practically whispered. Silver assumed that to be Y's real name.

"Uhhhhh…. X..?" Diamond braced himself for the impending pain, only to find none. Silver guessed LT Surge couldn't find out X's real name.

"Silver Rocket" Whitley said in monotone.

"Sun Bright" Platinum eagerly chirped.

"Blake Justice" Said an irate Moon.

"Moon Luna." Spoke an confused Sun.

LT Surge laughed. "Great work! Diamond, You were a little slow on the uptake, so I had to give you a little push. You understand, right?"

Diamond looked peeved.

"Alrighty then, you all may continue on to question two!"

Silver flipped the page.

 _2\. Draw a duck_

Ugh… Ducks.

Fuck ducks.

Silver hated ducks.

Ever since the shirt incident.

Don't ask.

Ever.

You're not ready.

Moving on.

"Move on to question three."

 _3\. You're too sexy for your shirt._

 ** _...NOPE._**

Silver was about ready to explode. He figured that LT Surge was sick at this point, but this was just twisted. He looked around. Blake was unbuttoning his shirt. Wait. He was actually doing it?! Silver guessed he shouldn't be surprised. Blake has always believed in his inherent sexiness, Silver guessed Blake just needed permission. Silver looked around again.

He saw Sun look over the paper, look over it again, and look over it a third time, hoping the question would disappear. It didn't. After a small whimper, Sun removed his shirt. He was in direct sight of Moon, who looked away with a red face.

Speaking of Moon, she was removing her shoes, with a slightly relieved expression.

Wait. Shoes?

Silver looked at the question again. In the bottom right corner, almost too small to read, it read:

 _Girls can be too sexy for their shoes._

Well, Silver knew that LT Surge was demented, at least he can take solace in the fact that he's not a pervert. Unless LT Surge likes guys. Or has a foot fetish. It wouldn't surprise him. But man, girls were lucky. Maybe Silver could pass for a girl… His hair was already pretty long… Nah, Silver decided not to risk it.

One sight that caught Silver's eye was a red faced Platinum slowly unbuttoning her shirt, much to the panic of Diamond. Silver guessed that Platinum must've missed the "shoes " rule. Silver felt obligated to inform her, but hey, no one else was stopping her. After she got about halfway done with the buttons, Diamond finally snapped, and told her.

Platinum somehow got even redder, and curtly replied "O-Of course I knew that… I was just testing to see… how much of a gentleman you are. Take solace in the fact that you passed."

Diamond sighed, and slowly took off his shirt, grateful not to be in direct sight of Platinum. X looked on with half lidded eyes, and seemed to have no intent on removing his shirt. He looked down at the question, then at LT Surge.

"Thank you."

Everyone sweatdropped.

LT Surge chuckled. "Fair enough. Let's move on to the next question."

 _4\. Hug the person with your real name._

Silver sighed. Fine. Whitley had his real name, right? Ugh. This'll be uncomfortable. He dragged himself over to Whitley, who very uncomfortably gave Blake a very quick hug. Blake was smirking as he gave Moon a hug. Silver hugged Whitley. She squeaked. Blake chuckled at Whitley's discomfort. Silver sighed and returned to his seat, where he found Diamond sitting, looking around the room. Oh right. No one had Diamond's name. Silver assumed it was going to go to Crystal, had she showed up. Silver noted that had she appeared, she likely would've hugged him. He shivered at the thought.

"Don't worry Diamond, you don't gotta go hug Crystal, I'll just let it pass."

Meanwhile, Moon was red as a beet while she gave a shirtless Sun a hug. Platinum also gave Sun a hug, as Diamond glared. After a bit, he sighed while being hugged by X. X was nearly tackled by Y, Silver guessed this wasn't their first hug. Platinum and Y looked a little awkward, but hugged each other without complaint.

"That's enough of that, move on to question 5"

 _5\. Draw an arrow to who has your real name._

Well, this is easy. Silver drew an arrow pointing to the upper right. Surely no one would be as stupid as to-

"EEEEEEEEEEK!"

Silver heard the scream, and suspected Platinum. After all, who else could produce such a high pitched sound? But surely, LT Surge wasn't foolish enough as to electrocute the principal's daughter, right? Silver looked up, expecting to find Platinum in pain….

…Only to find Sun sprawled on the floor, mouth agape. The class suppressed a chuckle at Sun's pubensently girl like scream.

"I-I couldn't remember who…. Had my name… so I took a guess… So much pain…."

LT Surge chuckled. "Could've been anyone. Move on to 6."

 _6\. You're not sexy anymore, put your clothes back on._

"Dammit…" Blake whispered under his breath. Everyone else breathed a sigh of relief. Silver graciously put his shirt back on, promising never to take clothes for granted ever again. Silver suspected the shirt removal was just for the hugging. Damn you LT Surge….

LT Surge noticed Silver's glare, and his smug smirk only widened. "This one is my favorite. Move on to question 7."

Silver was sick of this damn test, but he seemed to be doing well so far. Whatever this question is, it couldn't be worse than what he's just been through. What is this damn question anyway?

 _7\. Say your salutations to the person you like._

….Huh. Silver feels like he should probably freak out at this, but it's perhaps this is SO crazy, it just might be a delayed reaction. Let's see… He should be freaking out any second now….

Oh here we go.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

No seriously, WHAT is LT Surge doing? Is he some sort of closet romantic? Does he watch too much anime, and expecting some sort of magical emotion driven confession of love? Silver panicked and looked around the room. Diamond and Platinum glanced at each other, as expected. A quivering Y looked up at X, who looked forward with a bored expression. Whitley made the shortest of glances towards Blake. Blake noticed this and smiled seductively at her. Whitley rolled her eyes. Sun was once again applying his 'reread the question in hopes of it disappearing' technique, yet it once again proved to be a failure. Moon seemed to making an effort to look at anything BUT Sun.

Silver wondered if he should be looking at anyone in particular. Then it clicked in his head. There were only 9 students here, meaning someone would get left out. Silver figured that was him. Then it clicked again. Crystal was supposed to be here…. OH GOOD GOD. Did LT Surge intend on him and Crystal to be a couple?! Was he freaking bananas?! I mean, OK, Crystal is nice, and sweet, and Silver won't PRETEND he hasn't noticed her bod- NO NO NO NONONONONONONO Silver don't you dare go down that rabbit hole. LT Surge is WRONG. You hear me? WRONG. R-I-G-H-T WRONG.

Wait.

No.

Silver groaned. He was just panicking. Of COURSE he didn't feel that way about Crystal. Right? Right…?

Right.

Anyhow, it seemed that the class was in a state of paranoia. Oh right. That question. Silver kinda forgot about it. Oh boy, LT Surge is reaching for the computer… Silver was panicking, can someone just freaking say "Salutations" already?

3 seconds pass... No salutations to speak of. LT Surge's finger is nearing the spacebar.

4 more seconds pass... LT Surge's finger is on the spacebar, repeat, we have achieved contact with the spacebar... T-Minus to student shock in-

"SALUTATIONS!" Yelled Y, looking directly at Diamond. Platinum squeaked. Diamond's face flushed, and he looked down. "Wha…Whaa….Whaaaaa…." It would seem the prospect of a love triangle is too much for the poor boy. Platinum glared at Y with the same ferocity as Sun looking at an unpleasant question. Perhaps Platinum is trying to make Y disappear. LT Surge chuckled. "Nicely done Platinum!" Wait… Platinum?

Then it clicked again.

Diamond got even redder, and just seemed to be grateful that the girl who would've had his name is unavailable. Platinum buries her face in her hands in shame.

Blake chuckled. "How do you do, myself? Oh, I am doing splendid, thank you for-" His little skit was interrupted by a red faced Whitley punching him in the gut. Diamond looked peeved as he plotted his revenge against Y. "Hello Y. It's me, X. I just wanted to say HI. To reiterate, it's me. X. I am saying-"

"I get it Diamond."

"She gets it, Diamond."

X moved over to Y. "Psst, Y, who do you like?" Y blushed. "I-I don't like anyone." X looked disappointed. "You sure? Because I really don't want to get electrocuted…" "I'm sure… Sure I'm sure…" X sulked back to his chair, and braced himself for the impending pain. Blake decided to spare him. "Dude, just say 'Hi' to yourself. You'll be good."

X looked confused. "Why would I say 'Hi' to myself? Wouldn't that mean that Y likes- Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh…."

X looked at Y, who stared back with a red face. He looked forward.

"Um… Hello, Myself. How am I doing? I'm doing fine, thank me for asking."

He looked over at Blake. "That was weird…"

Moon leaned over to Blake. "Who do you like?" Silver noticed Whitley's ears seemed to perk just a little bit.

Blake chuckled. He chuckled a lot. "Why, I'm a romantic. I could never stay true to one girl, so you can just say 'Hello' to all women-" Whitley glared demonically at Blake. He gulped. "...But if pressed I would have to say Whitley. She's the smartest, kindest, prettiest of them all." Blake glanced at Whitley, who gave him a nod. Blake started to tremble. "...Pleasedonthurtme."

Moon nodded. "Hello, Whitley!"

Silver sighed. He sighed a lot. Sun leaned over to Moon, and asked who she liked. After hearing her answer, his eyebrow raised. "Umm…. Salutations to…. Channing Tatum?"

Platinum walked over to Sun's desk. "Hello Mr. Sun. Could I inquire as to where your affections lie?" Sun started to sweat. He looked at LT Surge. "Is… uh… No one an option?" LT Surge shook his head, and started to move his hand closer and closer to the damn spacebar that triggers a shock. Sun really started to panic now. He looked around, and just seemed to be looking for a way out. Finally, his eyes met Moon's, and he nodded. "Moon. I, uhhhh… like Moon." Silver was pretty positive that Sun just said Moon because she was the only remaining girl. Moon, however, seemed to miss that. He face flushed, and she started to sputter. Platinum obliviously skipped over to Moon, and chirped "Hello, Moon! Congratulations on your new boyfriend!" Moon managed to sputter out "T-t-thanks…" before putting her head on her desk in shame. Sun was blushing, too, and simply looked down.

Oh, It's just Silver and Whitley now. Whitley had his name, so she was probably going to ask him who he liked. Well, unfortunately for her, he was a closed book. He didn't care who got shocked, he wasn't going to pretend to like anyone, least of all Crystal. Wait. Why did Crystal come to mind? ….Silver decided that was a question that best went unanswered. Wait… Whitley isn't coming over here. No, instead she pulled out her phone, and made a call.

"Hello Crystal, just calling to say hi. I'll explain later, but I gotta go now. Bye."

She hung up.

Huh… Does Whitley want to know what the inside of her own coffin would look like THAT badly? Well, Silver was happy to arrange that. Silver didn't know of her former gang status meant that Whitley thought of herself as "too scary to be touched", but Silver knew he could be MUCH scarier. Silver didn't care that she was a girl. Whitley, you better say your prayers.

LT Surge's hand was nearing the spacebar.

...After this, though.

Silver quickly took out his phone, and called the number labeled "idiot".

After 3 and a half rings, Silver's (unfortunate) best friend picked up.

"Hey, Silver, what's up dude? It's weird for you to call me."

Silver rolled his eyes. "I know… Just calling to say hello. Hello. That's all. Bye."

"Wait wha-"

Silver hung up.

There. That was everyone. LT Surge clapped. "Great work everyone! I didn't even have to shock anyone this time! One more question, here we go! Home stretch!"

"Screw you."

Silver resigned to his fate, and turned the page to the final question.

 _7.5. You all have your names back. Now…_

 _...repeat question 7…._

. _..or fail this test….._

. _..and the class….._

A hush fell over the room, as all eyes looked forward at LT Surge in disbelief. He turned the computer monitor at the group, revealing a countdown. "And you have 10 seconds to do so."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO US?!"

10…

9…

8…Uhh… Hello? Anyone?

7…

6…

5…

4…Seriously? No one? No one at all?

3…

2…OKAY SERIOUSLY SOMEONE JUST MAN THE HELL UP AND DO IT.

1…

0-

"I-I-I-I…"

The countdown stopped, and eyes shifted to the desks, only to reveal Y, quivering, looking at X, who stares back at her. She gulped, and spoke. "X I LIKED YOU EVER SINCE WE WERE KIDS!"

X stared back with wide eyes, and Y kept quivering. After about 6 seconds, the awkwardness proved too much for Y, and she ran out the door, leaving her test behind.

"WAAAAAAHHHHH! WHY DID I SAY THAT?!"

X just sat there, with a perplexed look on his face. He picked up Y's test, and his own, and placed them on LT Surge's desk. He returned to his seat, noticing all the eyes on him. "Why are you all looking at me? It's you guys' turn, the countdown's still going."

Silver's eyes darted to the monitor, where the countdown seems to have gained 7 seconds, but was going down fast.

7…

6…

5… Come on already…. Everyone knows who everyone likes by now! Except for Whitley, who foolishly believed him to hold affections for- You know what that doesn't matter right now!

3… Did he skip four..?

2…

1-

Whitley turned around, and before anyone could figure out what she was doing, she was kissing Blake. After about four seconds, Whitley, red as a tomato, but still holding her indignant face, calmly placed her test on LT Surge's desk, and walked out the door. Blake held a goofy grin, and Silver swears to this day he saw little cartoon hearts circling him.

Eyes went back up to the monitor, where it has again gained seconds back.

8

7

6

5

4 ...But seems to have sped up…

3

2-

Sun cleared his throat, and he laid eyes on Moon, who was already blushing, likely in anticipation of what's to come. All eyes were on him, which caused Sun to start to sweat nervously, but he remained undeterred.

"Moon Luna! You are the most enchanting woman I've laid eyes on! You are the literal moon to my sun, the orange to my apple, the apple of my eye. For these reasons, I have grown enamored with you- mmmmmmmph?!"

His little soliloquy was interrupted by Moon kissing him. Silver didn't know what prompted Sun to confess in such a pseudo Shakespearean fashion, perhaps Sun is just being EXTRA sure LT Surge is satisfied. Silver was pretty sure Sun was only pretending to like Moon to avoid getting shocked by Surge, whereas Moon seems to have fallen for Sun for real. This would most likely lead to an exceedingly awkward conversation that Silver simply felt grateful not be a part of.

After the kiss, Sun was rendered to a red, sputtering mess. He picked up his test, handed it to Surge ("Here'sthetestIgottagobye"), and seemed to be making an effort to not sprint out the door, instead simply walking fast. Moon was looking down with a nervous grin, twiddling her thumbs, apparently giddy at the prospect of a new boyfriend.

8

6 wait what?

4

2 WE'RE GOING DOWN BY 2?!

0-

"Lady Miss!"

Only one person in school has a title that fancy. All eyes went to Platinum, then to her soon to be boyfriend, Diamond. He stood up in his seat, and he cleared his throat. He looked Platinum in the eyes, and spoke.

"I-I-I-... Uh…. I…."

"Speed it up, kiddo."

Diamond got even more nervous, and couldn't even get a word out. Silver grew impatient.

"FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS MAN, JUST TELL THE GIRL YOU LOVE HER!"

Platinum gasped. "What..?"

Diamond managed to stop sputtering enough to say "Wh...What he said…"

Platinum held a shocked expression for a few seconds, then suddenly hugged Diamond, who returned it.

7… All eyes fell to Silver.

6… Oh right. Silver still had to confess to someone.

5… Uhhhh... everyone else was taken…

4… He DEFINITELY ain't calling Crystal.

3… But he has to call someone.

2… Okay, he has an idea.

1… He took down his phone, and dialed.

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

"Hello?"

"Hi Dad. Just calling to say Hi. See you soon. Love you too."

The remaining five students looked at him in disbelief. Apparently the idea to call each other's parents hadn't occurred to them.

LT Surge started clapping. "Well done, all! Silver, that was a nice save back there. I guess you ain't ready to tell that Crystal girl yet, huh? Eh, that's probably for the best, word has it she has a thing for that Gold kid. Oh, unrequited love, how tragic. It's probably for the best she didn't show up."

Silver grimaced. "I… do not like Crystal." Silver wasn't sure if he was telling LT Surge or himself, but Silver thinks he's telling the truth. Crystal is such an important person in his life, it was probably just someone confusing their relationship as romantic that brought on these crazy thoughts.

LT Surge chuckled. "Sure you don't. Whatever. My cohort, Blaine, will be conducting a very similar experiment tomorrow with several of your classmates, so if you can just keep this test on the down low for now, that'll be super."

Blake's eyes narrowed. "Uh huh. Y'know, my new girlfriend used to be in a gang. I wonder if we can still catch up to her."

LT Surge cocky smirk faltered for a second.

X raised an eyebrow. "You know, Surge shocked us a couple times… I wonder what our parents would have to say about that… Silver, your dad used to be leader of that criminal organisation, right?"

LT Surge started to sweat. "H-Hey, don't get mad at me, I got you all girlfriends!"

Diamond adopted a thinking pose. "Except for Silver."

Silver took out his phone. "Hey, Surge, do you think I should call my Dad?"

Surge started to tremble.

Surge made a run for it.

Surge decided not to do the test again.

 **Welp, there you have it. Once again, this is not an official sequel/prequel to "Question Seven and a Half", I just liked the story, and decided to put my own spin on it with the other dex holders. Some may call this stealing an idea, but isn't putting your own spin on a story what fanfiction is all about? A fanfiction of a fanfiction... Fanfiction-ception. Sun and Moon's personalities were a little hard to pin down, as they're pretty new characters, but whatever. This is my first Pokemon story, so I'm pretty sure this is very amateurishly written, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to review.**

 **PS: No, I didn't even try with the last names. Sue me.**


End file.
